Single in Your 30s: Honest writing about being single: friends, fatigue, breakups, and wanting someone without settling.
Wanting a person and having a full life are not opposites.
Pick up where you left offWanting a personIs it anxiety or intuition about the person I'm seeing?A gut feeling worth trusting can usually be traced to something this person said or did, and it holds up when you ask about it. Anxiety runs ahead of the evidence, and with someone new there isn't much evidence yet. In your 30s you know your own reactions well enough to sort the two, if you slow the read down.Up next
See all- Wanting a personWhy do I keep landing in the anxious-avoidant loop?
- Wanting a personHow do you set boundaries without pushing someone away?
- Wanting a personIs the person I'm dating losing interest?
- Friends and datingWhy do I get jealous of the people they're close to?
- Wanting a personHow do I stop being jealous when I'm seeing someone new?
- Wanting a personWhat does a secure person's texting actually look like?
- Hidden stressHow do I stop being afraid of abandonment?
- Wanting a personHow do I stop overanalyzing read receipts and reply times?
Topics
By the numbers
47%
of adults under 50 without children say they are unlikely to ever have them, up from 37% in 2018.
Pew Research Center, 2024. U.S. adults, 2023 survey.
Half
of single U.S. adults are not looking for a relationship or dates right now.
Pew Research Center, 2020. U.S. adults, 2019 survey.
1 in 3
unmarried adults ages 22 to 35 are actively dating.
Wheatley Institute and Institute for Family Studies, 2026. 5,275 unmarried U.S. adults ages 22 to 35.
86%
of unmarried adults ages 22 to 35 expect to marry someday.
Wheatley Institute and Institute for Family Studies, 2026. 5,275 unmarried U.S. adults ages 22 to 35.
Worth reading elsewhere
See allAmerican Psychological Association (Speaking of Psychology)
Living a happy single life, with Geoff MacDonald, PhD (opens apa.org)A psychologist who studies singlehood explains what separates satisfied singles from unhappy ones.
Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley
Eight Ways to Ease the Pain of Loneliness (opens greatergood.berkeley.edu)Practical, research-informed things to do when the quiet after a breakup gets heavy.
NPR (Life Kit)
There's pressure to be partnered. Here's how to enjoy single life (opens npr.org)Holds both truths at once: you can want a partner and still build a life you like right now.
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